These are child bearing hips.

These are child bearing hips.

But the likelihood of me bearing children gets smaller every day.

And my heart is a child bearing heart,

but love isn’t enough to bear children.

Or maybe it’s too much.

Because there are plenty of children out there who weren’t born through love,

They were created through a mess of bodily fluids.

By a happy drunken night between a mother and father who don’t even know each other’s names.

Or maybe an unhappy one.

Or maybe even despite a No.

I knew this No.

It created something that I paid $600 to say No to again, 

when I couldn’t even afford rent.

A blueberry, they said.

And now,

I wonder if my coming to terms

was punishment for what I said No to.

The thing is,

now I have

so

many

Yeses.

But creating a child with the woman I love 

just physically can’t be one of them.