Could barely sleep last night with the almost full moon glowing in my window and conversations from new podcast episodes swirling around my head.
I joke that writing the show notes for this podcast takes twice as long as usual because I have to keep whipping out my journal to write what comes up for me…
Yesterday I had a breakthrough around rejection of my true self, not one of the masks I wear, not the armour I put on to face the world, but who I really am, and how that rejection hits in such a deep and primal way:
In our primordial days, if our tribe rejected us we would not be able to survive on our own.
When we wear masks and we’re rejected, we can rationalise that that person didn’t know the real us, and they have simply rejected one of the many ways we present ourselves. When we do lay it all bare and the same thing happens… well, it’s an evolutionary bone-rattling fear of being eaten by a sabre tooth.
You can understand why we all wear so many onion layers to protect our core.
So, this is me showing up, tired and freezing and a little disheartened, trying and failing to embody a queen of skulls and fire and rainbows, but still learning.
Doing the work.