I can see it all now:
Our life together unfolding
like a deck of cards in the leather of my mother’s hands.
A parallel universe.
It all makes sense now,
this persistent tugging,
this need to keep you in my peripheral.
Love,
I can see it:
Our jungle,
your monkeys adopting me into the tribe,
our world.
Worlds I will create for you,
stars I will gather for you,
dew drops I will convince to stay around a few minutes longer just so I’ll get to see another refraction of your morning joy.
And your lips will be varnished with the colours of your grandmother’s memory,
and I’ll pray for them to stain patterns into my skin
until I’m red raw,
Wishing I could have been there to watch you bring monkeys to life,
to watch them grow.
I’ll spend forever wishing I could have seen just a few more years,
a few more moments.
The waiting,
now,
it feels unbearable.
And all I can see is love in different rooms, and
pink hair, and
the kingdoms we will create in every minute of the day.
And you’ll run rings around my brother when he pushes my buttons, and
my cousin will invite you to be the first female member of the boys club, and
I’ll spend forever seeing you in monkey eyes, and
sea shores, and
red lipstick.