And:

And:

every step is a cold skeleton hand on lungs

grasping

gasping

my breath falters

anticipating

frozen

waiting 

for the back lash

the front lash

the lashing

white hot fire 

licking

hairs on my neck

every stomp

every punched wall 

a reminder

a warning

of how hard you can 

punch

of how much you could 

hurt me

the air changes

the vortex i craft around me is threatened

tainted

closes in on me as teeth close in on it

piercing skin

piercing me

draining the blood

another broken glass I need to clean up

another empty street I need to run down

I’m just…

waiting

suspended

observing

holding my breath

do I need to fight or flight

and then the door slams

and then I can’t hold in my flinching any more

and then I can’t remember a time listening to a door closing was just listening to a door closing instead of listening to my own heartbeat in my ear drums, in the back of my throat, in my skin breaking skin, bone breaking bone.

And every time you think you can buy me back,

you remind me that my worth is a dollar sign,

you tell me that I’m just a transaction to you,

you teach me my value, 

or,

more accurately,

that I haven’t any.

every step is a cold skeleton hand on lungs

grasping

gasping

my breath falters

anticipating

frozen

waiting for the back lash

the front lash

the lashing

white hot fire licking

hairs on my neck

every stomp

every punched wall 

a reminder

a warning

of how hard you can punch

how much you could hurt me

the air changes

the vortex i craft around me is threatened

tainted

closes in on me as teeth close in on it

piercing me

piercing skin

draining the blood

another broken glass I need to clean up

another empty street I need to run down

I’m just…

waiting

suspended

observing

holding my breath

do I need to fight or flight

and then the door slams

and then I can’t hold in my flinching any more

and then I can’t remember a time listening to a door closing was just listening to a door closing instead of listening to my own heartbeat in my ear drums, skin breaking skin, bone breaking bone.

And every time you think you can just buy me back,

you remind me that my worth is just a dollar sign,

you tell me that I’m just a transaction to you,

you teach me my value, 

or,

more accurately,

that I haven’t any.