Okay, Future Self, how do I get there?
How do I break this constant cycling of wanting to be ‘better’ that I haven’t mastered for years on end? To be someone that does yoga, and flosses, and can cope with work without burning out, and who has actually lost weight?
Future Zo, how do I challenge these beliefs about myself that I’m not worth it?
That I’m not worth an abundant income for work that comes easily to me.
That I’m not worth a group of friends that I can count on, that I can see as regularly or, more realistically!, un-regularly as I want to and always know it will be okay?
That I’m not worth losing weight, being healthy, moving my body, looking after my skin, dressing nicely?
Why don’t I think I’m worth it?
Because of relationships? Because of those who didn’t love me enough to have a big wedding and proclaim it to the world,
didn’t love me enough to ask me to stay,
didn’t love me enough to clean the kitchen,
didn’t love me enough to make me a coffee.
If I don’t fundamentally believe I’m worth a cup of coffee, how am I supposed to believe I am worth my dream life, worth support, worth doing anything for to make my life easier or better?
Future Zo, in your wise ways: how am I supposed to change?
Where do I find the one person in the room who believes in me, and then how do I not sabotage myself so hard I drive them away?
How do I come back?